Intoxicated in hindsight
I’m gonna get you on the flipside
You’d be embrassed if you ever knew
Just how much sleep I lost over you

Worlds of tears in the clearest blue
A clouded wreck and tested true
With our mind’s afterburners on
As velvet night slides to grey dawn

Your face pours in as the flood gates raise
To bury it all, you, my great mistake
My throat in knots, strips damage done
I choaked and and swallowed, I killed the the thought

A King in vain, I hide the pain
I turn it up and ride the gain
This is my twisted destiny
To be forever the victim of your tragedy

I dropped my gaurd, I missed my mark
I was lost in your dark eyes from the start
If I had swung at you and missed Just this once,
There’d be some ignorance in this blue

As I stand over, looking down
The edge is blurry, level ground
You jumped but there’s no let
No, there’s no one there this time

It doesnt matter, don’t you fret
Don’t fret my precious one
You’ll finally start to feel your way
In the cushion landing, soft and fake

I’ve killed myself, I’ve been born again
With razor banes for these bitter men
I’m filled with rancor for my fate
I’ve cleared my soul and misrules of hate

As I fall down on these bloody knees
Perception’s tuning, now I see
Intoxicated in hindsight
I’m gonna get you on the flipside

Here are two renders I did back in 2006. The first is a tangram I modeled in November, and the second is the cover of Coldplay’s X&Y i created in the beginning of December.

This is my second attempt at creating something using High Dynamic Ranging imaging. I used an outline of a tribal tattoo for the reference to create something more complex than a simple sphere.

Here are some of my first render’s utilizing High Dynamic Range imaging.

Well here i sit on my week and half vacation… something i like to think as a time for self-reflection. It seems many epiphanies have been unearthed throughout my current time away. Firstly, Mind Altering Substances are ultimately pointless, causing you to do things you wouldnt do while your sober, but giving you such a high to cause you to do it again… but never an everlasting effect, only to leave you worse off than before, giving you a false since of reality. Secondly, ive learned to no longer hope for things, seeing as i only get let down. Thirdly, the things that are seemingly the simplest turn out to be the most difficult.

I sit here suching for a muse, an enlightenment, but i know within myself there is nothing to be expected, and that in itself is a false hope. I sit with no regrets, i only think that i experience things so that i may learn from them. You would thing i would have found a muse in suffering… according to Justin’s shared quote "Great Art comes from suffering", yet all i feel is nothing. So i suppose i shall sit here and wait, for good things come to those who wait. Rushing only causes more difficulties. 

Look close

Look close and you will see

Diamonds

Into Infinity

Don’t sing

Don’t sing that song to me

Of hope

That Poison Melody 

Modificationer of dreams,

To every last stitch.

Bro/ken dreams falling apart,

Ripped at the seems.

Well here I am sitting here contemplating life among other things and quite a few random ideas came to mind for this post that you are reading… Right here, right now.

First off i switched my header graphic from the default template to something i made.

And then i remember hearing this quote that lit up in my mind earlier

"To dwell in the past is to die in the present." -Riven

And while searching out the origin of that quote, i discovered another that i like.

"We do not see things as they are. We see things as we are." -Talmud

And ill throw these two in here for good measure.

"Art never comes from happiness." -Chuck Palahniuk

"It’s only after you have lost everything, when you are free to do anything" -Fight Club, C. Palahniuk 

Creep

The Desire of Embrace
The Introduction of Flesh
Lusting Concept and Idea
Rejecting Reason
Chasing A Dream

Never has SIN Felt as Right
Tonight is Now the Night
The Creep has Won the Fight
You are A True Delight

The Brutal Murder of Innocence

————————————

A Midnights Delearium 

Delearium crawling under my skin
Racing to my skull
Swimming through my veins
As it has once before

My heart beating faster
I can no longer see
The metamorphasis is complete
This Delearium is now me